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Search Results 0 to 13 of about 14 (some duplicates have been removed)
12, 2011. from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show with jon stewart." captioning sponsored by comedy central [theme song playing] [cheering and applause] >> jon: welcome to "the daily show." my name is jon stewart. the great kid rock will be joining us on the program tonight, and i'm going to go with shark. all right. [cheering and applause] folks, i'm going to start with a problem. we got a problem. apparently america spends more than it takes in. so america needs to figure out a way to become more fiscally responsible. unfortunately while america figures it out, there is a repo man, let's call him "china," that on august 2nd could possibly repossess us. [laughter] the good news is we have a couple of good debt reduction options at our disposal. worse comes to worse, we could for some weird reason arbitrarily change the money we're allowed to be in date, which makes no [bleeped] sense whatsoever, but the bad news is the people in charge of putting together this country-saving plans are the same ones who as of today are currently on the floor
is the "daily show" with jon stewart. ( cheers and applause ) captioning sponsored by comedy central >> jon: welcome to the "daily show." my name is jon stewart. got a big show for you tonight. bill kristol, editor of "the weekly standard," will be joining us. he's a fox news contributor. yet, yet, i hope to talk to him about a less contentious issue than that, like afghanistan. all right. ( laughter ) what a show. we're going to start with something that i found on the tv box this morning that was maybe one of the greatest things i've ever seen in my life. >> mark halperin. what was the president's strategy? >> are we in the seven-second delay today? >> oh, lordy. >> i want to characterize how i thought the president behaved. >> we have it. we can use it, right, alex? >> yeah, sure, come on. >> go for it. >> i thought he was kind of a dick yesterday. ( laughter ) >> jon: mark halperin, senior political analyst, editor at large of "time" magazine just called the president a dick. and that wasn't like a spontaneous, like, can't contain myself, you lie! like this one, you guys
, this is "the daily show with jon stewart." captioning sponsored by comedy central [theme song playing] [applause] >> jon: hey, everybody. welcome to "the daily show." my name is jon stewart. we have a very special show, very special guest tonight. medal of honor recipient sergeant first class leroy petry will be joining us on the program tonight. we're honored. we begin tonight, of course, with the looming crisis. as you know, on august 2nd, if america fails to raise the debt ceiling, we default on our debt. people lose the capacity to love. [laughter] and animals lose the capacity to lick their own genitals. that's right. if we don't raise the debt ceiling on august 2nd, man will be sentenced to an eternity of licking our own pet's genital, because what would we really do? let them dry out? of course not. [laughter] so hopefully our president, barack obama, can in one swift rooseveltian "we have nothing to fear but fear itself" moment ease the american psychoi can. >> can you tell the folks at home that no matter what happens the social security checks will go out on august 3rd. >> i
Search Results 0 to 13 of about 14 (some duplicates have been removed)